The toolkit that your father couldn't give you
I’ve been in a men’s group since November 2018, meeting with seven (recently it became eight) other guys and the facilitator every other week, and it has literally changed my life because it’s opened me up to a whole other world of possibilities. It set me on a journey to finally, in my mid-to-late 50s, figure out and get in touch with who I am.
Continue reading “Men’s Groups”
A recent article from the Guardian newspaper starts with a statement that captures the very essence of what Father Lessons is about:
Like many men of my generation, I wanted to be a more present father than my own had been.
Jeremy Davies
The writer talks about how, as a journalist, he was able to be a stay-at-home dad when his son was born some 20 years ago, but points out that he was very much the exception at the time in the UK. As a self-employed online business owner in Tokyo, I had that same opportunity and was pretty much the only father dropping off and picking up from daycare.
Continue reading “Fathers Are More Present, But…”
In a recent issue of the Guardian an article appeared with this tagline:
“Some things get easier with age. The intensity of my friendships and the emotionally sharing nature of them has deepened.”
If only that were true for all men. Particularly when we get into middle age and the balance of life starts to shift from infinite potential and novelty to mortality and loss, that’s when close friendships become all the more important. But sadly, as the article goes on to explain, male friendships tend to dwindle in number as we age and often don’t involve that kind of emotional sharing.
Continue reading “Mates – who needs them?”
This article is now a few months old (so hopefully no longer behind a paywall) but as the men’s group it describes has been going for an amazing 36 years, it’s hardly out of date.
The writer’s description of himself when he first came across the group will sound familiar to many men.
Continue reading “36 Years and Going Strong”
Wow, it’s been almost two years since I last updated this blog. You may have assumed it was dead in the water.
They’ve been two very interesting, challenging, rewarding years that have seen me develop and grow in ways that I hope will help me make Father Lessons a more mature and focused project.
During those two years, I’ve never thought of Father Lessons as ‘dead’, simply as dormant while I figure out what direction I want to go with it. I thought I knew when I started, but a lot of subconscious resistance as well as conscious doubts led to me being unsure. And rather than stumble on blindly, trusting that things would become clear, I decided to back off.
But I haven’t been idle.
Continue reading “Two Years, Too Long”