Mates – who needs them?

Mates enjoy a beer

In a recent issue of the Guardian an article appeared with this tagline:

“Some things get easier with age. The intensity of my friendships and the emotionally sharing nature of them has deepened.”

If only that were true for all men. Particularly when we get into middle age and the balance of life starts to shift from infinite potential and novelty to mortality and loss, that’s when close friendships become all the more important. But sadly, as the article goes on to explain, male friendships tend to dwindle in number as we age and often don’t involve that kind of emotional sharing.

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Two Years, Too Long

Trealy Farm pool
The outdoor pool at Trealy Farm in Wales.

Wow, it’s been almost two years since I last updated this blog. You may have assumed it was dead in the water.

They’ve been two very interesting, challenging, rewarding years that have seen me develop and grow in ways that I hope will help me make Father Lessons a more mature and focused project.

During those two years, I’ve never thought of Father Lessons as ‘dead’, simply as dormant while I figure out what direction I want to go with it. I thought I knew when I started, but a lot of subconscious resistance as well as conscious doubts led to me being unsure. And rather than stumble on blindly, trusting that things would become clear, I decided to back off.

But I haven’t been idle.

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Manstock 2020

Manstock 2020

Anyone up to date on this blog will know that I belong to a regular men’s group. We usually meet up once every other week in north London, but since the lockdown started we’ve been meeting up on Zoom on a varying schedule. The group is actually one of three run by the same therapist, Jerry Hyde, and once a year all three groups gather for what is lovingly called “Manstock”.

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Father Lessons Back on Zoom

Would you like to join a group discussion about Fatherhood?

Following up last week’s first online meetup, I’m hosting another Zoom gathering this Friday, April 10. Again, it’s scheduled for 2pm UK time (6am on the US west coast, 10pm in Japan). Not ideal for everyone, I know, but let’s see how it goes.

  • Please let me know in the comments below if you think you’ll be able to make it.
  • The plan is to run the meetup for about an hour.
  • If you haven’t used Zoom before, it’s best to download it before the meeting.

To join the meeting, click the link below. I’ve set it up so that there will be a virtual “waiting room”. This allows me to control who joins the meeting, and for everyone’s privacy, I’ve also set it up so the password “fathers” is needed to gain access, but it’s already embedded in the link below.

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