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  • Do you want to do a better job of raising your kids than your father was able to do with you?
  • Are there times when you think you’re letting your kids down, when you’re unsure of the right thing to do?
  • Have you read the self-help books and the parenting guides, but find that you’re still struggling with the fact that you just didn’t have a good role model?

Welcome to Father Lessons, where I will be asking people to share their wisdom, life lessons and insights about fatherhood, allowing you to assemble the toolkit that your father couldn’t give you.

I’ve done my best as the father of three kids and I’m proud of having done a lot of things right. But I’ve got a lot of things wrong, too. And I’ve rarely felt able to fall back on “What would my Dad have done?” In recent years, my relationship with my father has improved, and yet the little invisible barriers caused by past events and traumas – both his and mine – still stand in the way of true connection, healing and progress.

So, over the last few years, I’ve been on a journey to learn more about myself, my relationships and fatherhood. Along the way I’ve had some amazing and transformational experiences, and I’ve picked up practical lessons that have worked for others and stories that we can all learn from. I’ve trained as a Therapeutic MensWork Facilitator, am currently training as a Counsellor, and will soon be launching my own Men’s Group

RECENT FATHER LESSONS BLOG POSTS

  • Mates – who needs them?
    “Some things get easier with age. The intensity of my friendships and the emotionally sharing nature of them has deepened.” Paul Daley If only that were true for all men. Particularly when we get into middle age and the balance of life starts to shift from infinite potential and novelty to mortality and loss, that’s when close friendships become all the more important.
  • 36 Years and Going Strong
    This article is now a few months old (so hopefully no longer behind a paywall) but as the men’s group it describes has been going for an amazing 36 years, it’s hardly out of date. The writer’s description of himself when he first came across the group will sound familiar to many men.
  • Two Years, Too Long
    Wow, it’s been almost two years since I last updated this blog. You may have assumed it was dead in the water. They’ve been two very interesting, challenging, rewarding years that have seen me develop and grow in ways that I hope will help me make Father Lessons a more mature and focused project. During those two years, I’ve never thought of Father Lessons as ‘dead’, simply as dormant while I figure out what direction I want to go with it. I thought I knew when I started, but a lot of subconscious resistance as well as conscious doubts led to me being unsure. And rather than stumble on blindly, trusting that things would become clear, I decided to back off. But I haven’t been idle.